My
life is like a journey. Every single day it’s a better understanding of life
for me. I’ve dealt with so many things just in my 18 years of living. Well, you
can say as far back as I can remember, but I’m not like any other 18-year-old
kid once you’ve heard about my life. I have a wife and a 5-month old daughter.
I’m impressed how successful and horrible my life turned out. I’ve always
learned life is unfair and you go nowhere if you don’t take a step to move
yourself, but take one step at a time with curiosity. I didn’t.
I
grew up in Brooklyn Park, Minnesota. We lived in a duplex house. We actually
took both of the duplexes and made it into one. I was young, running in the
streets with my brothers and we would always go fishing at this little creek
across the street from our house. I have two older brothers and I am the third
oldest in my family. I had one sister at that time. My brothers and I were
really close ever since we were young. Everywhere we went we would be together
and we always had each other’s backs, but we weren’t always perfect.
My parents decided
on moving to Baldwin, Wisconsin in 2000. Since then, my whole entire life
changed. I was enrolled in Greenfield Elementary School and it was bizarre. I
was the only Asian student in my class and the rest were white. Throughout the
whole grade there were only three Asian kids and there were no blacks or other
races. I didn’t know anything about racism at the time. I was bullied around
and teased like the two other Asian kids in my grade, until I thought it was
time to fight back. I took matters into my own hand and got myself in trouble.
My brothers were in Jr. high, so I told them about how much I’d been bullied.
They told me, they’ve been experiencing the same thing. At first we were
confused, but then we started getting comments from other students telling us
to go back to our country or calling us chinks and making fun of our language.
So, when I went to
Jr. high with my brothers, I knew it was going to be like elementary, but it
was worse. Fights would break out between another kid and my brothers and me.
Maybe if you look at us, you would say we are bad people, but we had reasons.
We stood up for our “Pride,” and we fought our way until there was no more
racism. We told teachers and they wouldn’t do anything and even the principal
wouldn’t do anything. Then, when my brothers and I, hit high school, it was
still the same. For four years we would stand up to anyone who made fun of us
and we would beat them up. My
cousins decided to enroll in our school. And ever since then more Asians and
blacks started to enroll. The last year I was there, we had two weeks left of
school and things got so intense for my brothers and me. We couldn’t take the
racism and teasing any more. There was a student, a typical jock, who would
bully my cousins around every day, throw fruit snacks at them during lunch, and
say racial things to them. Anyways, after school he threw a pair a glasses at
my face and then a huge fight broke out. My brothers and I just started beating
him. We didn’t notice how bad we injured him, but we were expelled the next
day. When we told our principal, we were sorry and we did it because we got
sick and tired of getting bullied. Of course, we told him many times, but he
didn’t listen and just escorted us out with the police. Before my brothers and
I left the office, we told the principal we were fighting for “our” pride. Ever
since then the racism stopped in our school. I’ve learned a couple lessons from
this point in my life. I learned about what is brotherhood, and pride. It’s not
wrong, if you know what you’re fighting for is right.
I came to the
Stillwater ALC in 2009 as a sophomore. I left everything from my past behind
and decided to start out new. My brothers and I were separated. My oldest
brother Peter enrolled with me here at the ALC, but my second oldest brother
went to Park Center High school in Brooklyn Center. Every day I would come to
school with my brother, until he graduated in 2010 and that’s when I met my
wife. The relationship started stirring things up a lot. At the time she was
just my girl friend and we would hang out like a usual couple, until we got to
the comfortable stage. We would argue and things would get broken in her/my
house. I’m a very energetic kid, always out-going, but then I started to
change. I would come to school always stressed out and I wouldn’t do anything.
I had so much on my mind, but it even got worse.
After a couple of
months my wife and I separated, but after two weeks we got back together. I
didn’t know, but she was with another guy at that time. Then, all of a sudden
she was pregnant. I was shocked, scared, and mostly confused. It even made me
feel worse. I didn’t know if the kid was mine, I didn’t have a job at all, and
the whole time I was calculating the dates. I was so unsure, but later her
elders called my parents and said that I got her pregnant. Yes, my parents were
so mad, they were on the verge of killing me. I was 16 at that time, jobless
and I had no money. In the Hmong culture if a girl is pregnant and you were
with her at the time, you have to marry her.
After a couple of
months I decided to marry her in 2011. I know it was a huge mistake, I did. I’d
thought everything would change, but my wife is very jealous of me and short
tempered. We lived with my parents and we would argue every single day.
Everything I bought or had in my room, she would break. My room would be a
total disaster. So I would go to school every single day just to get away, but
it didn’t bother me at all with school. It got so hard to the point of me
almost dropping out of school, but I knew I had to keep moving forward. Then, I
started the 916 Northeast Program. I went into the automotive program and got
an internship at Fury Motors through my instructor. So, there I was, I had a
kid coming on the way, and just started working. I had nothing left, but to
take every opportunity that comes along. I learned so much from this. I learned
to never give up and even when you’re at the edge of letting everything go,
grab onto something and hold it tight. Reason is because if you lose something,
there might not be another chance for you.
My parents were
very supportive. They helped me a lot; even when I made bad decisions, they
were still there for me. They knew that I was not a good son, but I always
apologized to them. Every day I give it my best in school and out of school. I
got all my plans set for what I want to do with my life. I have many hobbies
that I like to do and things I’m very good at. I’m an artist, cook, singer, and
mostly anything that deals with hands-on. My parents are quite impressed with
what I can do with my skills. I never listened whenever my dad lectured me. I
use to always think I knew what was best for me, but I never knew what my dad
has always been telling me, was right. Even, when I think it was wrong for me.
My mom was always there to listen to my feelings and talk things out.
Both my parents
have been an enormous support in my life. Sometimes we would argue and I tend
to run off. Before I was even going to marry my wife, they told me she was not
the one for me. In the Hmong culture, the elders are at a higher level and we
should listen to them. Still, I didn’t listen to my parents and my life turned
out as they were expecting it to be for me. It is hard growing up as a Hmong
boy. We are expected to succeed in life and take care of our elders in the
future. What I learned from my parents is a lot. I learned grown-ups know more
about life than you. Not all, but when they lecture you about the right thing to
do, they just want what is best for you and if you don’t listen then you’ll
suffer the consequences later on.
In my past that
I’ve left behind, I admit, that I was a kid who didn’t care about anything. I
was always a kid who had so much anger inside me. I would take it out on
others. I would destroy and hurt other people, but since I came to Stillwater,
it made me change how I should act towards others. Back then if someone were to
yell at me, I would get mad and throw a swing or talk back. I wouldn’t care
about what others would think of me, but now, I’ve learned my attitude towards
others means a lot. I remember watching a movie “Harold
and Kumar going to White Castle,” There was a part in there, where
Harold was put in jail and there was a black guy (Gary Anthony Williams) who
was put in jail for being black. He said, “ I
learned a long time ago that there’s no sense in getting all riled up every
time a bunch of idiots give you a hard time. In the end, the universe tends to
unfold as it should.” I actually took this as a quote in my life.
The reason is because after all the bad things I’ve taken from others, I just
stopped reacting to them. I would apologize, even if I didn’t do anything to
them. I knew it was the right thing to do. In the end, I would feel good about
myself because I wouldn’t feel like a fool. You should take this as a quote to
live by. This is how I make it through my days whenever I feel stress or on the
verge of blowing up on someone. Good things do, tend to happen. It has for me and
it’ll make you a whole different person.
There’s more to my
life, with all the things I’ve experienced. Having to fight for your pride,
situations with my wife, my parents, taking any opportunities I had, and living
by a quote. I find myself a whole different person than I was earlier. I can
see that I’m growing up and there are many new things that I’m going to learn
every day. I’m taking every step slowly with curiosity. I know there are things
that are going to come in my life, which I can’t accept, but I have to learn to
adapt to them. I’ve done so much and I can’t imagine myself, where I’m at right
now. My life was a journey, and sometimes it throws a curve ball at you, but
you can’t stop. If you can conquer all of your situations and keep it straight,
you can overcome anything in life.
